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The 32 bit version included in Office 2016?
That should work, still as a non-native program the performance might suffer, and its not going to be constantly updated like Office 365.

I tend to shy away from emulated environments, but since I already mentioned implementing a VM its a fair comparison.

In reality, I be more likely use my laptop to run Windows while running MorphOS on a separate machine.

And...if I followed this course, I'd still be stuck trying to adapt to Linux.

Again, no thanks.